It's a different kind of worrying. Not about paying bills (although I don't think you quite get over that because there are ALWAYS bills...LOL) but about things like your health, the health and welfare of friends and family, about the chores that you are not quite up to because of your age, about climbing ladders to make a repair when you are alone, about the loss of energy you feel, the loss of endurance, muscle tone...there are so many things. They are all things that, when you are young, never occur to you. You take so many things for granted.
It's very true that most of us, if we had known or even thought about such things, would have taken better care of ourselves. It's almost NOT funny. And yet, it is. The joke is that you have to keep a certain balance between worry and humor. Some things are not funny. Climbing a ladder when no one knows you are doing it can be scary if you are really not up to it. I wouldn't climb a high ladder because of the neuropathy that affects my feet. Getting up is no problem but coming down could be if I can't look down to make sure my feet are on a rung. I could end up very hurt if I fell. Of course, I can let fear engulf me and prevent me from doing things that need doing. I just have to be smart about things and think them through. I wouldn't give those kind of things a second thought when I was young. You think you will always be able to do whatever you want. You mostly don't think about your health and well-being.
And the health of others is another subject. I have a dear friend who is in her 80's. She is a brittle diabetic (not controlled, insulin dependent) who is also overweight, has two bad knees and is in a wheelchair. She remains active but cannot take most of the prescription drugs for pain due to the side effects they have on her. She sometimes is in so much pain, she remains in bed for most of the day. She hates it when it happens to her because, in her heart, she SHOULD be able to DO whatever she wants to do. Even going to the bathroom requires intense effort on her part.
Yet, even with what she suffers, she has the dearest heart and is very sweet and loving. She is still very much in love with her husband of many, many years and worries more about HIM than herself because he has his own health problems that are very serious. Yet he takes care of HER so lovingly that it makes me jealous.
My friend and I usually play bingo online together every night and we chat. I stay up later than I would some nights because of the time difference between where we both live. I live, of course, in Alabama. She lives in California. I sometimes forget about our age difference but, when she didn't come online yesterday, I figured she probably had a bad day and went to bed early because she works Monday, Wednesday and Friday at her son's flower shop. But,when she didn't show up today, I got VERY worried about that. Now I find I MUST call tomorrow to find out if she is okay but just not up to using the computer because she is in so much pain. Because otherwise, what might be keeping her away is too painful and awful to consider.
If we were both young, not seeing her for several days would just make me think that she was busy with her kids. work or any of the thousands of things we women take care of all the time. It wouldn't have worried me a tenth as much as I am worried right now about my friend. I am hoping that I will ask to talk to her tomorrow or that she might even answer the phone herself. It would be a HUGE relief and weight off my heart to know she was still with us and not in the hospital or some such thing. You know what I mean.
At my age, I worry about many things but I believe this is the worst kind of worry that anyone can have about someone they love. Don't you? Please do not take life or good health for granted. That also means making sure you keep in contact with those people you love and care about. Good friends are hard to come by...and keep. Don't take things for granted. Things change. Sometimes, quickly and without warning. Tell those you love that you do as often as you can. Today is all we are sure about. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. ***Hugs*** Love you all!
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