Today I learned that you are not always safe when sleeping if you are hurt. I have no idea just what I did but, when I woke up from my nap this afternoon, I had obviously hurt my hip somehow. I think I must have twisted it at an odd angle while asleep and it hurt like hell when I was trying to walk. Even with my crutches to help (I haven't even tried abandoning those yet), I was in major pain.
When I tried sleeping later on, I couldn't find a comfortable position for it to be. I ended up grabbing the heating pad again which only helped a little. I finally got up and took two pain pills or I know I won't get any sleep tonight. I am waiting for them to kick in and I will try once more to get some sleep.
The Beast went to dinner at a friend's house tonight. He tried to get me to eat earlier than I wanted but I talked him out of it saying it might be tough but I could manage to feed myself if I got hungry. He must have enjoyed himself because he spent over 3 hours there (these people were from his church) and he doesn't even spend that much time at Dennis and Di's house when we have dinner there. And they have been our friends for over 35 years....LOL!
Perhaps that's the real explanation. We know Dennis and Di VERY well. The people from his church are fairly new to him and more interesting just because he doesn't know them well. At least, not yet. And they will only see the good side of him. He will always be *on* ...which means they will always see him at his very best. He can be funny, helpful and even interesting at times. But he also swears like a sailor (and some of the words I just HATE!). He loses his temper easily when at home and for the stupidest things. I have seen him beat inanimate objects for those type of reasons. Although he CAN be patient, he seems to park that side of him at the door unless it comes to his photography. I have seen him adjust and readjust his pictures endlessly until he gets it just perfect (in his opinion).
Of course, now that it's just the two of us here, he aims a lot of his anger and frustrations at ME. For the most part, I can ignore him and I don't take it personally any more. I DO know that his inability to do some of the things he could do before his strokes makes him a bit nutty at times. He has a very real need to try to control me. Right now he is loving the fact that I am dependent on him entirely. This is how he wished I had been all during our marriage. However, I never could deal with his sudden flares of temper for no reason. He took many a frustration he had from outside the family out on me. It was not a fun time for either the kids or me.
Weird, isn't it, how you can sometimes be talking about something else and the solution to a problem that has puzzled you can be revealed. I have questioned more than once why he's been so good while I am on these crutches. Control! Of course! Duh! I can be so dumb at times. LOL!
Ahh....feels like the pain pills have kicked in. I think I am going to have to go see my regular doctor this week. I am going to need more pain pills and he needs to know about this injury of mine. I'm not even sure that a good radiologist has checked out the x-rays. Most of the doctors (heads of departments) are off until after the New Year. Jerks! Like people don't get hurt during the Holidays and, perhaps, need their services BEFORE they die! LOL! Doctors chose a specialized service to others when they chose medicine as their trade. They make tons of money for their services. All we ask is that they are there for us when we need them. I don't think that's asking too much. AND they need to *listen* to what we have to say. Not all of us are whiners.
I have a high pain tolerance I developed as a kid with chronic ear infections. I even had to have both my ear drums replaced with a vein graft, which was innovative surgery at the time. I had it at the Chicago Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat Institute when I was 13. Nowadays, doctors use those little ear buds to help kids avoid much of what I went through. Discovered early, like they did my son, Mustachio's problem, they don't have to go through all the infections and pain that I did. I went from completely air wave deaf to hearing after a 5 hour operation. The vein graft came from a vein in my left elbow area, which is why they take blood from me on my right arm these days. That big vein most people see on the inside of the elbow? Mine is gone on my left arm but very visible on my right.
Oh well. Pain pills are definitely working now so I will post this and try sleeping again. I'm hoping my granddaughter, Sheepie, will come visit me tomorrow. It gives Baron the two little dogs to distract him since she brings both her dogs with her. They usually play out in the back yard for a while then come in and bother poor Sheepie like she's a treat. LOL! I try to play a bit with Cory's dog, Cleopatra. She's a pathetic looking little thing since Sheepie had to shave her because her coat was so badly matted when they took her in. She will look much better when her coat grows back in and adds a little weight to her looks. She has the tiniest bones!
Love you all. Stay warm and dry, of course, and I hope you are making some fun plans for the New Year. We have stayed at home for years now. The Beast calls New Year's Eve *amateur night*. If you don't have a designated driver or plan on taking a cab home, don't go out. The cops are like bloodhounds on that night in particular. The number of DUI arrests is staggering. I will have my Bailey's here to enjoy even though I will only have the Beast here for company. I can avoid him just by closing the door to my computer room. Then we are on different sides of it....LOL!
***Hugs and kisses***
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