Sheepie, The Princess And ME.....

I got into a discussion that ended up in an argument with my son, Mustachio, tonight.  It was over a feud that Sheepie and the Princess have been in for well over a year now.  I forget how we got started on it but I told my son that it was obvious that Sheepie didn't love me because she is taking her feud with the Princess out on me.

She never calls me any more or comes by to see me.  She doesn't even come over to see Chewlee, which she WAS doing for a while.  Chewlee, who loves her, misses her and so do I.  I love her fiance', Teach, as well.  

I told my son that it really hurt me that she never came and spoke with me about her feud when it first started.  Even the Princess never mentioned it until I asked about it after my daughter told me it was going on.  But I DID see the Princess almost daily.  So, when I finally asked about the feud, all I ever heard was what was going on from HER side.  Not a word from Sheepie about anything except this:  She said she and Teach would never attend any family function again.  No Thanksgiving or Christmas or Easter dinners because *the Princess* would be there.  So who was really being punished?  Me.

Now I am an old person.  No, I won't deny it.  I see it in my mirror every day when I remove my teeth to brush and clean them.  Or comb my thinning hair.  It's obvious.  Which means that my time on this earth is getting shorter.  I'm not in great health although I do try to keep my doctors appointments (multiple doctors these days) and I take all my medications so I am trying to prolong that time as much as possible.  Family is important to old people.  Sheepie is family although she has obviously cut us out of her life as such.  US!  Not the Princess but all the rest of us that love and care for her.  My heart hurts when I think about it and I cry.  Why?  Because although *I* love her, she obviously doesn't love me.

When we found Sheepie after all those years that her biological father had after he kidnapped her and kept her from us, I was elated.  I couldn't wait to see her.  We went through all kinds of ministrations to get her to be able to come and spend Holidays and summers with us.  After the first couple years, she was even allowed to take the bus up to see us (we paid for it) and we picked her up from the bus station.  Her dad or his girlfriend of the hour would pick her up when we sent her back home.  When she decided she was old enough to take the initiative and make her own decisions, we paid for her to go to her mother's house to live with her.

Now I will make no comments about whether or not that was a good decision or not because we really haven't discussed it.  I DO know that she couldn't wait to graduate and leave Kentucky to move down here with her fiance's family.  She's been there ever since.  They will marry after he graduates from college.

I have no idea when, how or why the feud started.  I just know that it was going on for a while before I even heard about it.  It seems everybody had an opinion about what was going on although I really believe it should have been left for the two girls to settle or get over.  Whatever it took to get the family back in order.

I am human.  Because I heard only one side of the whole story, I defended the Princess whenever anyone stuck their nose into the battle.  In hindsight, I wish I had been able to just say, *It's between THEM, not us.  Keep out of it!*  But Sheepie even missed the wedding of a cousin she loved because *the Princess* was going to be there.  Well, hell...so were a lot of other people.  She was missed.  It has caused a hole in the family that shouldn't be there.  It reminds me of high school kids, honestly.  Petty, petty, petty feud.  My advice is that they should BOTH GET OVER IT!  They are blood.  That is important...and especially important to an old person like me.  I have always, always been family oriented.

I have taken in brothers and sisters over the years to help them out for one reason or another.  I felt they needed to be with FAMILY.  Not strangers.  If I had even been asked, I would have taken Sheepie into our home when she moved away from her mother's.  But I wasn't asked.  I didn't even know that is what she had planned.  Hell, I wasn't even told until the last minute when she was going to graduate.  That tells me this:  I love her but she doesn't love me.  My heart hurts right now so I think I will close this missive.  I'm sorry to bend your ears on this but the argument with my son just brought it all out of me.  He doesn't understand where I am coming from.  He just kept saying...*Why should she?*  That hurt me, too.  Why?  Because I took care of her a lot when she was  young and I loved her then.  That should have mattered to her.  She should have known I loved her then as I love her now.  I am so hurt that she can write me out of her life like it was nothing.  Does anyone understand why I am feeling like this?  Maybe I should just accept it.  I just don't know.

Love you all.  Be happy.  Love your family and keep them close.  You just never know....