It is beginning to look like we will be sending our wonderful dog, Baron, over the rainbow bridge in the next day or two. The Beast broke down and cried over that today. He has to go see the vet to find out if there is some way this could be done here at home so Baron can be made comfortable and we can see him off.
That will leave us with a problem...digging a hole big enough for him in the yard. Between the two of us, we are just not physically able to do that. I think the Princess and Johnnycakes still have our rototiller and I will have to call them about returning it for us to use it to soften up the ground a bit. I might even be able to get Johnnycakes to help us for a bit. Dennis' health is also not great so I don't think HE can help us. The Beast may ask his friend from the DR to come and help. I'm pretty sure he will but we can't take days to do it, either. We don't want to see the dog we've loved and had in our family for almost 10 years to deteriorate. It's hard enough as it is to think of losing him after all this time. Just the thought has me sitting here crying. But you can't watch how he struggles to get up even with the two of us helping him without feeling just awful.
Today he fell down twice and, when he went to lay down for the night, he did it again. The Beast and I had to move him to get him into a comfortable position and Baron wasn't able to even help us. He also did something he hadn't done even as a puppy. He pee'd on the floor and then whined afterward because he couldn't help himself but he felt bad about doing it. Losing control is a very bad sign. To keep him alive in this way is a form of cruelty....and selfishness, too. I guess it really IS time to let him go. It's just so damn sad. I hate this. I hate the thought of his not being here. Stupid, right?
But our days are now taken up a lot of the time by Baron and his needs and constant worry about him being in pain or struggling to do some of the things he feels he should be able to do. The struggle is real for him every single moment that he is on his feet.
He constantly wants comfort from us or, perhaps, he is comforting US for the sadness he feels coming from us. I'm not sure but we are all sad, including him. Knowing that is in itself a sad thing.
Say a little prayer for us all. No matter what, we will be hurting, including when we must send Baron over the rainbow bridge. I am crying again, like a little kid, so I am going to close this for now. I love you all. Be kind to everyone. You never know what kind of battle someone may be fighting and a little kindness costs you nothing but could mean the world to someone else. ***Hugs***
No comments:
Post a Comment