Today, after I got home from the doctor's and my visit with Cee, the Beast and I got into a discussion about Baron. He feels he failed Baron in not watching him closer and not being able to make him well. I assured him that we had both done all we could. We made sure he took all his medications, we did a lot to entice him to eat, we kept up his routine as much as we could, we even hand fed him much of the time.
I told him that I really thought that Baron was ready to go much earlier but he kept trying in order to please the Beast. He put up with the pain and discomfort and kept trying to walk and he also sought comfort from us. I truly believe he was just waiting for the Beast to finally let him go and not be in pain. Even the vet suspected that Baron had cancer. It's known to be a problem with Dobies and Baron was a big one, besides. He just went downhill so fast. In just a matter of four or five weeks, he was all skin and bones and had dropped over 40 lbs. He was just so ill. He made me cry again once I started talking about all the things I felt we had done and he had endured. It's why I told him (again) that I did NOT want another dog. I said that IF I ever felt like another one, we would look at Rescue dogs together and I didn't think that any dog over 20-30 lbs. would be smart for us. Not at our age and health.
I don't know if he's convinced really but I told him if he came home with a dog one day, he better be prepared to sleep out in the garage or in the chicken coop. That is, if I didn't shoot him. He actually laughed, like he thought I was kidding! Even *I* am not sure that I'm not. Trust me, that dog would never know any kind of kindness from me.
Well, I am tired now and I hope that tonight I don't hear Baron outside my door like I thought I did a couple times last night. I didn't get a lot of sleep because of that. Weird.
Love you all. Be good. Tell those that you love and are glad they are a part of your life that you do. Tomorrow is not promised and it may be too late one day. ***Hugs***
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