Thursday, January 2, 2014

The Beast And Cold Weather

The Beast, like myself, does NOT like cold weather.  Neither does his dog.  But that same dog loves to roll in the snow when it's deep enough.  Go figure.  However, to see the Beast go outside in cold weather is a real sight.  He has one of those hats with the ear flaps and a snap strap under the chin.  His gloves make his hands look HUGE due to all the insulation in them.  Depending on just HOW cold it is, his jackets make him look like he's stuffed.  And I mean TEDDY bear stuffed....LOL.  How he can manage to DO anything looking like that is beyond me.

I TRULY hate the cold.  Always have, always will.  It doesn't exhilarate me.  It chills me to the bone no matter WHAT I wear.  I need a good heater and, sometimes, a hot tub.  That is all that takes the chill out of MY bones!  I have a very good parka type coat with a hood that has fur around my face.  It's deep and shields my face from cold winds.  The parka is both lined AND is down-filled.  The cuffs inside are knit and keep wind from blowing up my sleeves.  I have leather gloves with a knit lining in them.  They work because they will never touch snow...trust me.  I usually make the Beast start up the car so it warms up before we have to get in it so my travel through the cold is not long.  Once in the car, I can put down my hood.  My parka has both a zipper and a snap flap.  I'm protected, believe me.   My boots may be ugly but they work.  I wear warm socks when wearing them.  I don't think the Beast even owns a pair, come to think of it.  I'll have to check.

Anyway, we have a perfectly good garage that even has a heating system in it that the Beast installed the first year we owned this house.  It works well.  But, he keeps the Prius in it and, I swear, he thinks exposing it too much to the cold is going to injure it somehow.  He was actually outside, in the cold, working on the Yaris.  I asked him what he was doing and he told me.  Charging up the battery to full (? doesn't it do that itself when you drive it?), making sure the amount of anti-freeze was correct, filling up the windshield wiper fluid with a winter type, etc.  I asked him why he was doing that out in the driveway instead of in the garage where he could turn the heat on and be comfortable.  He said to me....his exact words....I don't have room for it with the lawn mower in there.  My mouth dropped and I told him if he didn't want to put the riding mower back where it belongs (in the barn), then just moved the Prius out and put the Yaris in.  You would have thought I was swearing like a trouper or something with the look on his face.  He made this funny noise with his lips and just turned his back and went back outside.  I swear, the man is nuts.  You would think the Prius was going to stop working for him if he mistreated it like that.  No wonder his dog is spoiled.  He does that with everything but me.  Sheesh.  

The Beast will start stocking up our milk, coffee, creamer and a few other basic supplies plus some meats, including the dog's chicken (of course!) just because of the weather channels prediction on our weather for the next week.  That will mean fewer trips to the grocery store.  He actually likes to go either daily or every other day to buy things for us.  However, it also means he always has a supply of his sweets, including bakery donuts and sweet rolls.  He tells me that they are for *us*, knowing full well that I am diabetic and those are a no-no for me.  It's also why my house is stocked with some of the most incredible gadgets that you see advertised on TV like the bacon maker with skewers that you use in the microwave.  Oh yes!  We really, really needed that.  I know he hates the time regular frying takes but, come on now!  Then, the first time he uses it, he UNDERcooks it.  Yuk!

I told him that I used to make a list of food for a week's time (most of the time it didn't include any donuts...boo hoo) and spent a hell of a lot less than he did.  He was gone five days and complained about what I spent on groceries while he was gone.  The fact that I also bought his dog chicken, giblets and chicken livers was not considered nor his big box of dog biscuits and a big chew bone.  Price those.  They aren't cheap.  But I know this about him and just asked him how much HE spent while he was in Chicago and he damn near stuttered.  Pay back!  It's not like I really cared.  I never ask him about what he spends.  It's really useless.

But, back to the Beast and cold weather.  When he heard how cold we were going to get here, he went around to the baseboard heaters and turned them up.  He also turned on the one in the guest room because Baron loves to lay down in there on the rug.  Can't have the dog get cold.  But he came into my computer room and turned DOWN my heat.  I couldn't believe it.  I went over and turned it back up because the room is on the corner of the house and gets cold.  Later on, he came back in and said it wasn't warm yet then looked down and started to turn it down again.  I hit the roof.  He tried to tell me I was wrong about the settings.  I made him get down on the floor and look at the dial and he was flabbergasted and said that MY dial was set up different than the other heaters.  I told him that I KNEW where to set mine so stop touching it.  He then went around just to check and make sure all the other heaters in the house were set up like he thought they were.  Turns out the one in the guest room is also like mine.  Ha, ha, ha!  

He will be checking the temperature in the house all day tomorrow to make sure we are reaching a comfortable temperature.  If it takes too long, he will start complaining to me about it.  I'm almost glad that I have an early doctor's appointment so I won't have to listen to him when he gets up and starts his rounds while he's in his underwear.  Poor Chewlee will be dropped off early since Johnnycakes has a 9am appointment somewhere but I will turn her cartoon channel on my TV before I leave so she can come in here and relax.  She'll settle in my recliner and cover herself up with one of the blankets I keep in here (after she gets a couple pickles, I'm sure).  She will be ready for when I get home to play one of the hidden object games we play together on Pogo.

Well, it's only a little past 1am and it's 23 degrees outside and due to get colder.  I feel blessed that we don't have snow like poor Bratfink got.  Brrr!  We NEVER get that kind of snow, thankfully.  It's just another good thing about living in Alabama...LOL!  I need to get back to bed since I must get up so early to make my doctor's appointment so I will say goodnight and please, please drive carefully everyone...everywhere.  Love you all.  **Wink**

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