I went out today to pick up a card to give the Beast for our anniversary on Monday (it's also the Princess and Johnnycake's). I grabbed a small gift for him that I know he will appreciate. It will also keep his hands off something of mine that he keeps trying to steal. But I wondered if he will even remember that we will be married 52 years. Since he got involved with his church, they don't seem to celebrate much. They DO celebrate anniversaries, I know but the Beast has always been very UN-sentimental our whole lives.
It really makes me wonder why I cry at weddings. Is it because I feel that they may have a rude awakening one day (like I did) or just because I remember how *I* felt when I first got married? I cry at weddings in movies....like I know I will be crying in a little bit just at the reunion of an elf princess and the man she loves (and who loves her). The movie is the last of the Lord of the Rings movies called *The Return of the King*. I know what's coming but I can't help myself.
I really wonder if I cry because my marriage has become kind of sad. In many ways, he's become a bit...just a bit....kinder to me. It's mostly when I need it and I am helpless to do much for myself. With the two major leg surgeries I had plus the appendectomy and removal of the dead section of my colon to name a few of the times, I was actually surprised at his concern and how he made sure I was fed and had whatever I needed to be comfortable. I remember when I had the flu (this was since we moved here so it wasn't all that long ago) and I could have died and he probably wouldn't have noticed.
I became terribly dehydrated and had no food for three days. The only reason I didn't go longer than that was because I was finally able to stay upright long enough to make myself some soup. I went almost 24 hours without any liquids at all. Not a drop of anything was given to me. I literally crawled to the bathroom which was very close or I'm not sure I could have made it. He totally ignored me and never checked on me at all. I really believed he was hoping I would die. That hurt me deeply.
But, like I said, when things were really serious, he was wonderful. I did tell him how much I appreciated his attention and concern those times.
Just recently he bought me flowers and a really cute, tall vase that has the outline of a heart on it and the word *Love* inside it. It surprised me a lot since there wasn't any special occasion when he did it. Plus, he knew I had several vases already but he said he just liked it when he saw it.
He may just buy me some flowers and a card but that will be about it from him. That's IF he even remembers. I used to give him his card and gift early so he would then remember and have time to go out and buy me a card (and some flowers were the usual gift). But I don't think I will do that on Monday. I will wait until either he gives me a card or else at dinner time. THAT will make him feel really bad since it IS one of the few things his church allows him to celebrate. Shame on him if he forgets.
Well, that's the end of this thought. I hope you have a great Sunday. ***Hugs***
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