Scary Days Ahead....

The weather channel has been predicting thunderstorms for a large area of the country for a couple days now.  I woke up to a really ugly day outside.  It was raining and dark looking outside so I checked the weather channel again.  Sure enough, one area where we have family and friends is at Def Con 6, which means a 60% chance of tornadoes developing.  That puts several people that I love in jeopardy....Bratfink, Mustachio, Buttmunch, Marcus and family plus an assortment of friends and a cousin or two.  WE are only at Def Con 3 but we are in an area known to have tornadoes almost every year since we moved here.  They have been specifically saying Birmingham and Atlanta and we are in between those two cities in the direction that the storm will be moving.

Of course, the movement is more in a northerly direction so I'm not as worried about the Princess or Cee being affected but Tara sure could be.  I hope she keeps her ears open for the sirens and/or weather reports.  There's more warning these days than there was a few years ago but it's only about 13-15 minutes instead of the 3-5 minutes that used to be the norm.  Trust me, I won't be doing a whole lot of sleeping since they are saying the possibility is that we could be affected while it is still dark outside tomorrow morning.  **Crossing fingers**

I worry enough for everyone and I am hoping that no one is hurt or worse by the storms that will be coming through the areas involved.  Say a little prayer, please.

Other than the dog begging to be let out in the rain all day long, it was a quiet day except for thundering at times.  We just spent the day watching the weather and checking the weather channel from time-to-time.  The Beast is still in a lot of pain so I suspect he does have a cracked rib or two.  He's having a hard time using his left arm if it is holding anything that has any weight to it.  He's just going to have to be careful for a while so he doesn't make it any worse.

I have to go take my shower now while it's quiet outside.  No thunder or lightning to worry about.  I was considering putting street clothes on in case we have to make a run for the safe room at Dennis and Diane's but nixed that idea because I can't sleep in them.  I've opened up my window a bit so I can hear the sirens in case they go off.  

Love you all.  Be good.  Stay safe and dry.  ***Hugs***

What Now?

I've mentioned a training collar for dogs over the years.  We had to use one for Baron even as a puppy since he was so hyper and wouldn't pay attention without one.  They look awful but what they really do is imitate how a dog mother grabs her pups on the neck to get them to pay attention.  

Dennis had never had one on him before the Beast used it when he realized that Dennis had no real training.  Well, Dennis LOVES that collar and get very well-behaved as soon as he sees it in the Beast's hands.  He gets so excited that his tail is waving a mile a minute.  But how well he behaves is what is so startling.  

Today the Beast made a mistake.  He took Dennis to the Dog Park but didn't put the training collar on him.  He just used the regular collar along with the training leash.  It was fine until they came home and the Beast opened the car door.  That's when Dennis made a mad dash out of the car and headed across the road.  Unfortunately, the Beast was only partly out of the car and was holding the leash.  Dennis' mad dash spun him around and he couldn't catch himself before he hit the driveway and hurt his ribs.  From the way the Beast is acting (and saying he is feeling), I have a hunch he may have cracked a rib or two.  

He had a tough time getting up (and, of course, I was no help there).  I spent most of the early evening and tonight doing different things for the Beast since he couldn't bend over without being in a lot of pain.  He won't go see the doctor....at least, not yet.  We shall see how he feels in another day or two if it doesn't get better.  Not that they can do much for that.  I've had my share of those so I know that much.  His body will keep him from over-doing or over-extending itself until they start healing.  I swear, getting old sucks!

I did get pretty much everything done that needed doing today.  I even folded clothes for the Beast.  He went to bed early since he felt so crappy.  The dog was ready and the cat was already asleep in the crate...LOL.   Unfortunately, the pharmacy didn't have my IBS-D refill available until tomorrow afternoon but I have enough of the pills left to last me until then.  My appointments are set but neither of them are soon (15th and 17th of March).  I should be okay by then so that's all right with me.

I'm tired myself with all the stuff I got done.  I even did another small wash of my things and they are all neatly put away and/or hung up.  So I am going to close this for now and just say good night.  Love you all.  ***Hugs***

Busy Day Planned For Tomorrow.....

I am sitting here with my list in front of me of the things I have to get done tomorrow.  It's mostly things that had to wait until the week started because they involved contacting doctors.  *Sigh*

I have to contact both my vascular doctor plus the gastroenterologist.  I have questions for both AND I need new prescriptions from the gastro doctor.  I am almost totally out of the medication for my IBS-D and I don't dare go without that!  I am hoping he might suggest one that requires less pills.  The one I have now requires I take a pill four times a day.  That is a real P-I-T-A!  I take a shitload of pills as it is.

I also have clothes that need to be refreshed, folded and put away.  I need to *touch up* my hair which is starting to make me feel even older than I am.  I also have been having a bit of a problem with putting on my socks because my darn toenails need trimming!  Little things mean a lot, don't they?   The last thing on my mind with all that's gone on this past month is my toenails!  The heck of it is that they are very tough to trim.  I swear I am going to use the Beast's Dremel tool to file them down to a decent length...LOL  We've used it to trim the dog's nails so why not?

Now that might not seem like a lot of things to do to you.  At least, not if you are in decent health.  But they take a lot of effort for me since my endurance is so crappy right now.  As it is, I have to sit down a lot because I can't stand upright for too long.  Sometimes, it's because of my back (the back brace is really uncomfortable as much as it helps) but other times I just fade and get a bit shaky.  

I'm not quite ready to tackle going to Cee's just yet because I dread the thought of tackling her stairs up to the second floor.  Right now, just going up the five stairs to MY front porch tires me out and I have to sit down as soon as I get inside the house because my legs get so weak.  Cee's apartment has more stairs than that! 

But I am improving, little-by-little.  Baby steps, I know, but a huge improvement over how I was when I first got home from the hospital.  Just getting myself a drink of water (from the nearby bathroom) was a chore and I gladly plopped down into my recliner as soon as I returned to the computer room.  Now I can walk all the way into the kitchen...heck, I can walk out to the garage!  I had to do that today a couple times to restock the toilet paper in our bathrooms AND take food out of the freezer for our dinner (which I prepared...*grin*).  So, I AM doing better.

I got to see the pictures from the *prom* for the home-schooled kids and, I must say, the parents went all out to make it memorable for them.  They had a catered dinner but the mothers provided the desserts.  The tables were beautifully set up and decorated.  The fathers did some really great things for the dessert table.  And, yes, before you ask, the parents were there, too.  

There was dancing for everyone and the kids actually did a couple skits to help entertain so a good time was had by all.  The Beast took a lot of pictures of the groups, including family groups.  The boys looked fantastic in their tuxes and the girls were all in lovely gowns.  They all looked so grown up!  Even the mothers and fathers were dressed up.   

Well, it's late and I need to get to bed so that I won't be too tired to get my chores done tomorrow.  It's going to be a pain waiting for the doctors nurses to call me back tomorrow.  You never get to talk to the doctors but it must be done.  I also have to make appointments to see both doctors while I am doing that.

Love you all.  Here's a thought:  YOU can choose how your day will be by choosing to either be positive or negative.  If you choose to be happy, be an optomist and look at things that happen as how they were meant to happen and good things will follow.  Be kind to everyone, especially yourself.  YOU are in charge of yourself.  ***Hugs***

I Forgot.....

I am such a goofball at times.  I forgot that our current cell phone company doesn't have any contracts.  I kept thinking I needed to find out when we hit the two year mark so that I could turn in my flip phone and get a smart one.  Duh!   I'm going to have to call them and find out what (if anything) this is going to cost me to change it.  We are just too used to having to have a contract to get cell phone service.

The Beast has gone to take his pictures of the kids attending the *prom* for the home-schooled kids.  Makes me wonder just how many of them there actually are.  I thought perhaps other churches like his with home-schooled kids might have gone in together but the Beast said no.  Oh well.  I wish them some fun at least.

I seem to have had a little setback with some *break-thru* diarrhea today.  The only difference is that, this time, I can tell when it is looming and get myself to the bathroom on time.  I guess that's something I need to remember to tell the doctor when I call on Monday.  Perhaps he has something better that requires less pills.  I sure hope so.

Oh...I have to tell you this about the Beast.  This is a formal dance so all the kids will be dressed up.  You will never guess what the Beast wore.  No, not a tux.  He had on a 3-piece suit AND a bow tie!!  He definitely looked very dressy but I had to laugh at the bow tie.  But that's what all the boys will be wearing with their tuxs so he got one, too.  This one has a pattern, however.  It looked hilarious.

I should really go and see what I want to eat for dinner.  It's already 5:30pm and I'm hungry again.  I am writing this early because I am going to bed earlier these days and only getting up to use the bathroom.  If I don't do it now, I might not get one written at all.  

I was wondering if the Princess got her hubby to go to the Monster Truck event today.  I saw on FB that she wanted to go.  That always seemed so dumb to me but, having never gone to see one, I have no real idea of what goes on.  Maybe it's just my age.  I never even wanted to go see the stock car races or the others that seem to draw big crowds.  Yet I know lots of people, seemingly intelligent, that loved them.  Guess it's just not my idea of excitement.

Well, time to close this and go feed myself and the dog.  He's acting like he's hungry.  Love you all.  Be happy.  ***Hugs***

 

I Need A Different Phone....

When we changed our cell phone service to the one endorsed by AARP, I had decided to get a flip phone.  I chose that just because it was a better *fit* for one of the pockets on my purse without worry about dialing a number due to how sensitive the Iphones are.  The Beast is still having his phone put itself into plane mode when he puts it in his shirt pocket.  He's constantly having to check it.  I told him to get himself one of those covers that prevent it being affected by stray *taps* from the pen he also puts in the same pocket but, well, he doesn't listen to me on things like that (that make sense!).  

However, I am tired of trying to text using the flip phone.  It's a real pain and takes so much more effort since you have to keep hitting the keys to get to the letters you need.  I can do it but it sure keeps my texts short...LOL.

I discovered yesterday that I didn't change my sister's phone number to her new number when she called me last time.  That's Cee that I am speaking about.  I don't know what happened but I guess I didn't do it right and now I just get a voice mail when I try to call her.  I'm pretty sure that it's because I am getting the other phone (not the new one) that she turned in when her contract was up.  I hope she calls me....soon....so I can write down the new number and edit the old one.  Oh well.

I was debating about driving over there tomorrow but decided it will have to wait since the Beast has been really bugging me about going to church with him this Sunday.  I told him that I don't feel like going anywhere so that means no Cee's either.  I don't know why he keeps trying to get me involved.  I thought I had made myself clear on that but he must be ignoring my replies to various things HE wants.  He seems to think he can change my mind by ignoring what I say.  Looks like it may be an uphill battle once again.

I woke up from a long nap a bit ago.  I had laid down around 3:30pm because a wave of *tired* washed over me.  Sure enough, I fell asleep quickly and didn't wake up until almost 7pm.  I stayed awake for about two hours then went back to sleep until I woke up to use the bathroom a few minutes ago (it's now after midnight).  I may be up all night once again but at least I HAVE slept soundly for several hours.

I have to call my gastro doctor on Monday to refill my prescription for the IBS medication.  I hadn't noticed that it didn't have any refills for it and I can't go without it.  If I do, like I did in the hospital, guess what starts up again?  No, no, no....I don't want to go through that again.  I mean the diarrhea.  That is a real disaster, let me assure you.  Especially since there is no way to contain it until I can run to the bathroom.  It just occurs and makes a real mess.  It makes me cry in frustration because I can't control it when it hits me.  I only have enough for the next few days left and then I will have to start chugging the liquid stuff to stop diarrhea (and that makes me nauseous).

My bff went to see a doctor that specializes in auto-immune problems on Thursday and I am hoping to hear if he offered any hope for her.  I feel so bad that she is in such pain and discomfort.  Getting old and not being in good health sucks!

I still feel good except for being tired after doing more than one chore in a row.  I find I still need to stop and rest to regain some endurance.  The Beast is watching me fairly close.  Diane told me that he was really scared for me when I was in the hospital.  He didn't seem to be really worried.  I actually felt like he hoped I WOULD die on him and that pissed me off.  I know that he would miss me...a lot more than he thinks.  He isn't meant to be alone but he DOES have the dog.  Dennis follows him like a shadow and likes nothing better than to climb in his recliner with him.  He also *talks* to him, which is hysterical, since it really seems like he is trying to tell him something.  Personally, I think he wants to know why the Beast isn't taking him outside for a run around the neighborhood.

Well, I am going to attempt to go back to bed once again and hope I get through the night with a few more hours of good sleep.  Love you all.  ***Hugs***

Chicken Soup, Anyone?

I kept to my plans and made homemade chicken soup with homemade noodles.  Those are a real pain to make by hand (I wish I had the noodle maker my sister, Bee has/had.  It would be so much easier.....I think.  Not having ever used one, I may be misinformed.  I never did ask her how she liked it or if she still has it.

I just wish I had cooked the veggies a little less than I did.  They were too well cooked for what I had in mind but the Beast loved it just the way it was.  I admit, it's very tasty, even so.  I just wanted a little crunch to it but that is just THIS time.  I was just in too much of a hurry and had the burner up a bit higher than I should have.  Duh!  Such a beginner type of mistake.

I have to admit that I pushed myself a bit too much today and my back suffered for it.  I should have put on my back brace but, when I put it on tight enough to supply the support I need for those muscles, the secondary bands, which cross my abdomen, become very uncomfortable.  So I end up having to choose between support for my back muscles or stopping the discomfort to my abdomen.  It's a miserable choice, regardless.

I played with the dog for a bit while I was letting the dough for the noodles sit.  He can be so damn funny at times.  The cat was in the mood to play and got Dennis to start his play biting and licking.  You would think they were really in a fight but the cat bats his face with no claws and twists her body around so he can lick other parts of her tummy or her back.  She will jump on his back and he throws her off and then puts his paw on her to hold her down while he growls and licks her face.  It's just hysterical to watch.

Later, the cat was laying by the front screen door and it just so happened that one of Dennis' chew sticks was next to her.  He spotted it and ran over and grabbed it like he was sure she was going to and he wanted her to know it was HIS.   He carried it over to the rug next to the Beast's recliner and looked over his shoulder to make sure the cat wasn't coming for it.  You could almost read his mind....LOL

The other day, Dennis was asleep by the door and guess who was asleep between his paws?  Yep.  And yet, they will both eat out of each other's bowls of food if given the chance like they think the other one has better food.  Crazy animals.

Well, it's late and I am tired.  I will close this missive and put my tired body to bed.  Sending you loads of hugs and a thank you for reading this.  G'nite all!

But, sitting for a half hour with a nice pillow at my lower back made a difference and I became a lot more comfortable.

....Doctor, Part 2....

I took a short nap after my company left since I was really tired after being at the doctor's and then running into Dollar General to get a couple cans of chicken broth since I wasn't using a lot of chicken but wanted to make homemade noodles if I wasn't too tired.  That requires more liquid than I would normally get with the amount of chicken I intend to use.  The broth ensures I won't lose flavor from adding too much water.

Anyway, I was actually tired when we got home but the arrival of our neighbors kept me up for an addition two hours before they left so my butt was dragging by then.

It was weird since, other than feeling tired, I felt good (no pain, no illness at all).  I just haven't gotten back any real endurance.  I was happy, however, to find out that my veins were readily available when the technician took blood for the tests.  My veins had collapsed at the hospital and you could tell how tough it was for them to try to get blood by the various areas where they blew out a vein trying to get any.  It was why they ended up putting a port in my neck when I was under anesthesia for the endoscopy.  It's taken almost two weeks for the various bruising to heal on both my arms.

After I woke up from my nap, I made myself a sandwich and some soup for dinner.  The Beast didn't want to wake me when he ate since he knew I was tired and needed the rest.  As usual, my sleep during the night was peppered with bathroom breaks...sigh.

I spent some time putting more things I had in the bookcase back where they really belonged.  I had a lot of things that needed to go back into the medicine cabinet that I had kept handy for myself when I first got home from the hospital and couldn't do a lot of walking.  My desk and the bookcase look almost normal...by that, I mean it doesn't look like MY desk usually does.  It's almost neat!  LOL

I told the Beast that I really need to replace this desk.  I've had it for over 12 years now and it wasn't a good desk to begin with.  It shows it's age and has some of the veneer peeling off it from various cracks that developed for one reason or another.  My spilling liquids hasn't helped, either.   The Beast's last commitment for taking pictures (the home schooled kids graduation *prom*) is this Saturday.  He will then be making his plans to go visit whoever it was that he planned on visiting.  He knows I go to Chicago come hell or high water at the end of June but we both can't be gone at the same time (not with both the dog and cat plus the chickens we have).

Well, it's time to say good night, sleep tight again.  Love you all.  Sending many hugs to everyone.  Be happy.  

Finally See MY Doctor~

Today was the appointment with my regular doctor.  I gave him all the test results and summaries when I got into the exam room.  I found out several things that were on his computer (he has that system that allows him to access the hospital records) that I didn't know before.

First of all, the real reason I spent such a long time in the hospital after the bleeding area had been located and cauterized was because my kidneys were failing when I was first brought into the ER.  I had a massive UTI and it had gone into my kidneys.  However, once the bleeding had been stopped and I was getting the antibiotics I needed, the kidney function started to respond.  Until they returned to a more normal level, they didn't want me to go home.

Secondly, I do NOT have an active ulcer.  Thank goodness for that but I already suspected as much.  My doctor told me that my blood count had been normal the day before all this happened.  Yet, overnight it had dropped to 7.2 (which was an incredible drop he said).  He also told me that they STILL weren't sure what had caused the bleeding to start.  There were just too many variables but he was glad that I seem to have regained my strength.  He told me that if I started feeling as bad as I did the day I last saw him (I had told him I was having a lot of low blood sugar episodes and a lot of times I got dizzy and had to sit down right away).  That's why he dropped my medication for the diabetes down to once a day.

My kidney function also turned up normal and no sign of a UTI.  He also told me not to push myself but I could do anything I wanted (including driving) as long as I felt *normal*.  I laughed and told him...*What exactly IS normal?*  Even he laughed at that comment.  He said if I started bleeding again or having the dizzy spells, etc. that I should call him right away.  What's truly funny is that the doctor had come out and spoken to the Beast about my low blood pressure the last time I was there and the Beast told him, *That's a sign of internal bleeding, isn't it?*  The doctor dismissed it because of the good blood count and A1C level but said to me (today) that it really was an astute observation on the Beast's part.  

He's going to call my vascular doctor because he thinks he needs to check out the flow in that area of my neck....just to be sure.  In the meantime, I do not have any problems that require a dietary solution (like avoiding bread and other starchy foods).  He said the hospital had preformed a lot of tests because they were so stumped on how the bleeding got started.  At least, for now, I seem to be in really good health...LOL!

Signing off for now.  Be back later.  ***Hugs***  (Sorry but we have company...Dennis and Diane)

Just Taking It Easy And One Day At A Time.....

Since I didn't sleep well last night and I think it was because I kind of overdid it (did too much, too soon), I took it easy today and just did what I absolutely needed to do.  I don't want to stress myself and set my progress back.  I'm just concentrating on regaining my strength before I have to make the rounds of all my doctors to see what's what with me.

As I was reading this report I got from the hospital, it really hit me how damn close I actually was to dying.  It scared the crap out of me.  No way am I ready.  Is anyone, really?  Maybe if you are in a great deal of pain and no way to get past it from some awful disease (this does not apply to YOU, Carol!!!) with no real cure.  But I think most of us would not choose to close our eyes and let go of life.  I have always told my kids that I wouldn't go without a lot of kicking and screaming....*I'm NOT ready!  I'm NOT ready!*  I was only half-joking.  If only I didn't feel so much younger in my heart.  I might be able to accept the fact that I really AM an old fart!

I still have things I want to do.  Places I would like to visit.  People I want to see again and visit.  I have both old and new friends I would love to see and share a few laughs together.  It's one of the reasons I try to make it to Chicago at the end of June every year to get together with friends I have had since high school.  We may only see each other once a year for a day or two but it's like we saw each other just last week.  I consider myself lucky to have more than one good friend like that after all these years.  I think what surprised me was finding out that the girls think I am fun to be around.  They like my (weird!) sense of humor.  I guess that being around the Beast all the time has kind of robbed me of that realization about myself.  I CAN be fun.  I CAN be happy.  I can be funny, too.  But it takes being with good friends that love me the way I am. good and bad, before I CAN be myself!

My sister, Bratfink, has her bbf visiting with her as of today per her blog and I am so happy for her.  She needs someone around that will make her laugh, see that she enjoys her days and even makes her WANT to be awake to visit.  She enjoys the company.  I think that works for both of them.  They have also been friends (although they lost touch for many years) since middle school, I believe.   She's had some awful problems with neuropathy in her feet AND her hands.  I thought just having it in my feet was bad.  Diabetes sucks, even if it IS under control.  I've had great A1C readings for several years now and the doctor said (when he cut back my medication) that it was almost non-diabetic!  

 I'm up to 121 lbs. in weight now and don't have to wear a belt with my jeans...LOL.  I was keeping my weight between 122 and 126 for quite a while but, wow!, did I lose weight in the hospital.  But that's no real surprise with as sick as I was.

Can you believe it's 59 degrees outside at midnight?  Tomorrow we will be up in the 70's...actually for the next four days our temps will be in the 70's before we hit Saturday and Sunday when the cold front should be hitting us.  Then we will be lucky to hit the 50's during the day.  Oh well.

I'm tired so I am going to get this posted, go to the bathroom and hit the sack.  I didn't get a nap (again) today and I am feeling it now.  I should have been in bed two hours ago....LOL.

Love you all.  Have a wonderful day and a restful night.  ***Hugs***

I Think I Have Turned The Corner....

Today was the fifth day in a row that I have actually felt like myself for most of the day (today it's been all day).  I even got dressed and sat outside, throwing a stick for the dog.  I was amazed that he actually gave it back to me after he fetched it.  We never could get Baron to do that.  Once he had retrieved something, he didn't want to give it back....LOL

I talked to Babybrat this morning.  I saw that she had called me but I guess I didn't hear my phone ring so I called her back.  True to form, she couldn't remember why she called me but we chatted for a bit anyway.  She did remember hearing I was in the hospital but had no idea if it was serious or not.  We all know how bad her memory is so that wasn't a surprise.  Her short-term memory sucks.  

I also called Cee to let her know this was another good day for me and I am hopeful the trend continues.  I need to make an appointment with my gastroenterologist after I see my regular doctor and I will probably have to go see the *roto-rooter* one, too.  I need to make sure that I don't have a repeat of the internal bleeding.  Besides, I want to let him know that I still have some loss of feeling in my earlobe after he cleared the left artery.

The Beast went to his party earlier and I expect he'll be home in an hour or so.  I made myself an early dinner (am still nibbling on it) because he never brings anything home for me when he goes to one of these.  But that's a man for you.  He would find it embarrassing.  

I already put my pj's on since it is supposed to be very cool again tonight.  I'm going to take a bit of a nap after I post this and finish up my dinner.  I'm tired and I don't want to get over-tired and maybe set my healing back any.

Love you all.  Be good.  Be happy.  Tell those you love that you do because you never know if you will have another chance.  Tomorrow is not promised and today is almost over.  ***Hugs***

Good....Better....Best !!!

I didn't start the day out feeling like a spunky  monkey, mostly because I was so over-tired from getting so little sleep.  But, as the day went on and I persisted in staying up and getting some chores done, I realized that I actually was tired but I didn't feel sick!!!

I did two loads of MY laundry.  Sorted, washed, moved to dryer and then folded and put away.  Not once did I get dizzy, lose my footing or feel nauseous.  It was amazing.

I went to bed around 8:30pm because I was just too tired to stay up any longer.  I figured if I didn't do a blog, well, then I wouldn't do a blog!  But here I am.  I hope this continues to be the trend for me.  I don't see my doctor until Tuesday but I have no doubt that I will make it....grin.

Okay...back to bed with me now and on to dreamland.  Love you all and thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts.  I owe you all one (or two...LOL).  ***Hugs***

Neither Good Nor Bad.....

Today was a so-so kind of day.  It wasn't a great day for  me but it wasn't all bad, either.  I was just really tired because I didn't sleep well last night but couldn't rest during the day like I have on other days.  No real reason why but I hope it will be better tonight.

At least today I was able to pretty much feed myself when I got hungry.  I made myself soup for lunch (breakfast was cereal, of course....love hot cereal on a cold morning), and then had a sandwich and some V-8 for a light dinner.  The V-8 actually tasted really good to me for some reason.  Maybe I needed the liquid veggies...LOL

Right now my eyes are watering and I am yawning like crazy.  So I am heading for bed before it passes and I am awake most of the night again.  

Love you all.  ***Hugs***

One Craving Satisfied!!!

I've had such a craving for peel and eat shrimp since I was in the hospital that I can't even begin to describe it.  I even dreamed about it.  The dream was so vivid that I actually woke up thinking I needed to throw away all the shells on my plate.  It was a bit of a shock to not find a plate and realize that it was just a dream.

Tonight, the Beast surprised me by going to Publix and buying some huge shrimp and they steamed them for him, too.  Although they didn't have the steamer mix of cayenne pepper, salt and peppercorns that I use when I steam mine, I think it was that Old Bay that he got only because he knew what that tasted like.  He came home and threw them into a bowl of ice to cool them down (I ate one still hot!) and then we ate like pigs!  It was fantastic!  Now I am full and very, very happy.  It was a great surprise for me.

I had another decent day.  Not quite as good as yesterday but not bad either.  It was still a good day in comparison to others I've had recently.  I'm going to continue to go to bed at a decent time and hope that this trend continues.

I did a few light chores (mostly folding clothes for the Beast) and now I am heading to bed for the night.  It's going to be cold again tonight so I have my little heater going and another pair of warm pj's on.  Love you all.  ***Hugs***

Things Are Looking Up!!!

I mentioned on Monday, I believe it was, that I had a great day on Sunday.  Well, guess what?  I have had a great day today.  I felt damn near like myself.  I even took a long soak in the bathtub for a change, instead of a quick shower.  It felt wonderful!

I even set my hair (yes, I still own curlers and those long, darn bobby pins to hold them) instead of just combing it back and letting it dry (and frizz).  I mean, really!  Who cares how I look when I have felt so crappy for so long?

I even cleaned up my desk and straightened up my computer room.  Not perfectly but it is a lot less messy and I actually have room to put things....LOL

Cee stopped by after her doctor's appointment today.  It was just for her annual physical and she got a *thumbs up* on her EKG and other vitals.  She got her prescriptions renewed but still has to get her bone density test and one other that I forget what it is.  When she said *bone density test*, it reminded me that I am overdue for one again.  I'll have to remind my doctor that I should have one when I see him.  

I surprised Cee with some strawberry shortcake when she got here.  She said she couldn't remember the last time she had any and she ate it all up.  I was glad I had it here to share with her.

I think I am finally feeling good enough that I can make it in to see my regular doctor so I'll call tomorrow and see when I can get in to see him.  At least I don't think I will pass out trying to make it from the car into his office without the Beast having to go get a wheelchair from the office to get me inside.  Trust me, I really and truly felt I would need it if I went in before feeling more like ME again.  Of course, this is all predicated on how I feel tomorrow morning when I wake up.  I have good days and I also have bad days.   I'm hoping to have another good day tomorrow and that will bode well for me.  It will ensure me that I am truly on the mend.  I just need to get some good sleep again because I am sure that helps me out.

I talked to Mustachio today.  The stinker decided to take a week's vacation and didn't even consider making the trip down here to see us all.  He is so far out of the loop since he broke his wrist so badly two years ago that he didn't realize his niece just had a baby girl.  In fact, in his mind, she is still that little kid he barely remembers from when she still lived in Florida with her folks.  I had to laugh.  He almost choked when I told him that the Beast, the Princess and I went to her wedding (five years ago, I believe) and that she married an Alabama boy....err, man.  He's a good hubby and father to his son (Atticus James)  and will be great with the new baby, Hope, I am sure.

He hasn't even seen the Princess in several years and doesn't know Gunner at all.  Trust me, I *let him have it* over that!  He has no idea what a treat that would be for him.  He's such a sweetheart.  

Well, it's my bedtime so I am going to sign off for tonight.  Love you all and, please, say a little prayer that I continue to heal and get well quickly.  Be happy.  Take care of your health needs.  Don't learn the hard way like *I* did.  ***Hugs***

Some Days Are Just Better Than Others....

Today actually turned out not to be too bad for me.  Mainly because my sweet Gunner and the Princess came by and spent a couple hours here.  I just love that little guy.  He is so sweet and mostly happy all the time.  He knows he is loved and I love how he loves his Nana (that's me and he came up with that on his own).  He is trying to say Grandma now and I will miss him calling me Nana.  But he hears Chewlee and his mother call me that so.....he just wants to be grown up.

I just hope he never gets so grown up that he stops giving me the hugs and kisses I got today.  I loved it and it made my day so much better than it started out.  I had gotten up around 8 or so to use the bathroom and discovered I had a bit of a tummy ache.  I don't think my tummy likes being empty.  I grabbed a Glucerna so that it would soothe my stomach a bit until I developed a real appetite.  I just never can eat as soon as I wake up.  I knew I was going to have some hot cereal but just wasn't sure WHICH kind I was up to making.

Actually, there are really only two kinds I like.  Oatmeal and Cream of Wheat.  On a day like today, I usually end up with the Cream of Wheat because it's very easy to digest and I can actually drink it down....LOL.  It just requires enough milk so that it is not all that different from a smoothie, just warmer.

The morning was spent just trying to get rid of the tummy ache without taking a pain pill.  The Beast brought me in the package that was delivered for me and I knew it was what my bff sent me.  I was shocked to discover that it was three brand new pair of pj's....warm, comfy flannel pj's.  She knew (or suspected) that I was planning on using my gift card to buy new pj's.  The hospital threw out my blood-soaked pj's that I came to emergency wearing (the Beast told them to just throw them away).  Unfortunately for me, they were actually the pj's I loved the most.  Very soft, warm and comfortable.  But then, who plans on getting so damn sick wearing good clothes, pj's or whatever?  I sure didn't.

There is one pair that came with a surprise.  It has a pair of matching socks!  Not ones you would wear with shoes, but to keep your feet warm at night.  I wear socks all the time and this just was so perfect and adorable!  I have never seen pj's (for adults) with socks to match!  Too cute.

Just as I was finishing unpacking them, guess who opened my computer room door with a big grin?  Yep, Gunner.  He came over and gave me a hug and turned to feel the pj's.  He said, *Nice!* and I had to agree.  He started looking around and I knew what he was looking for....I keep treats handy for the kids in my room.  This time, however, I handed him a bag with some grapes in it (seedless, of course) and told him to go show Mommy so that she could cut them up if she felt it necessary.  These were the large, green grapes and I didn't want him to choke on them.  He ran out and straight to the Princess.  I heard her say to him, *Oh, you know where to go to get treats!*

He stayed with me and we went over all the pictures on my walls that include him, Chewlee and the Princess.  He likes to see his pictures on my walls and you can see he loves his sister, too.  He has a favorite picture of her (and one of mine, too!).  It's from the only snow we got last winter.  She's dressed warmly but covered with snow and she's making a snowball.  She and Baron were out playing in the snow and having a great time.  We get so little here and it usually only lasts for a day or two.  This was actually gone the next afternoon and there was more than a foot of it on the ground!  If we get any snow this year, that will probably be Gunner's first real taste of it.  He was too little last winter to have any real memory of it.

When they finally left to go pick up Chewlee from school, Gunner gave me a bunch of kisses and hugs then the cutest little wave you have ever seen.  It took me an hour to wipe the smile off my face!

The Beast made us BLT's for our supper and it really tasted good to me.  I realized that I actually have a taste for a small salad.  I might make one for me tomorrow for lunch.  

Cee called me tonight to see how I was feeling (and she's still learning how to use her Smart Phone).  She's got her annual physical tomorrow and said she'll stop over after she gets out of the doctor's office.  I'll make her some strawberry shortcake as a treat.  I spent some time cutting up the quart of strawberries the Beast bought the other day and they are just perfect and sweet now.

Well, it's later than my usual bedtime and I am going to break my jaw with yawning.  Love you all.  ***Hugs***

Yesterday....

Yesterday was the closest I have come to having a day where I damn near felt like myself for the first time in ages.  I am not kidding.  It was wonderful.  I even had my first cup of coffee since coming home to really GOOD coffee.  I reveled in the feeling and tried to do nothing to spoil it.  I went to bed early and slept until almost 8am.  (That's why there was no blog).

I seem to have gotten into the habit of an early bedtime.  Which isn't really a bad thing but that may change once I really feel like myself again.  I just have to wait and see.

My bff says she has sent me a Valentine's Day present that is supposed to arrive tomorrow (Happy Valentine's Day to everyone with someone they love special!).  Since that will be the only one I get, I'm kind of looking forward to it.  I'll let you know if it comes on time.

Since my life is so devoid of excitement, I take it where I can get it.  Looking forward to a surprise gift counts....LOL   I am really missing seeing my great-grandkids.  The newest one, Hope, I have seen pictures of it since her mother posts a lot of pictures of both her kids.  Hope reminds me a lot of how her uncle looked as a little one.  He was so cute and so is the newest great-grandbaby.  It tickles me to see her but I would love to be able to see her and hold her, too.  I love babies.  Actually, I love kids....period.  I wish I had been able to enjoy my own more but I had to work for most of the years we have been married.  It feels strange (still) not to work at all.

Well, it's really almost that time again.  I'm feeling a bit tired since I have stayed up all day.  Love you all.  Be good and be happy.  Get rid of toxic people in your life.  ***Hugs***

It Wasn't On Purpose....

I went to bed early yesterday, thinking I would be up to use the bathroom and could do my blog then.  But, guess what?  I slept all night long and didn't wake up to use the bathroom until right around 5:30am.  It kind of surprised me but, since I am still trying to recover from damn near dying, I figured my body needed the rest.  

Cee stopped by after she did a little shopping at Aldi's (which is very close to our house...kind of).  She told me about their having lobster tails on special....2/$14.95 and a decent size....then, after she leaves, what commercial comes on?  Lobsterfest at Red Lobster!  Made me hungry, of course.  But, in truth, I have no idea how my tummy would react to it right now.  I'm still more comfortable with chicken noodle soup (I like the envelopes with the skinny, tiny noodles that you make).  It causes me no discomfort and it's filling.  The Beast buys the ones with *extra noodles* so there's plenty to share even.

I spent the day just resting, taking my meds and drinking a lot of liquids.  The Beast bought me some Glucerna in chocolate, which isn't too bad for a diabetic supplement.   I'm still a bit shaky on my feet in the morning so it made for a nice breakfast for me until I could do better later on.  It's not the best tasting chocolate but beggars can't be choosers.  It was handy.

At least I don't have the IBS-D bothering me right now.  I just have to keep remembering to take the meds for that.  I need to try to get my dirty pj's washed tomorrow since I am all out of warm jammies.  I am constantly adjusting the heaters in the room because the Beast has turned on the central heat several times the past few days and the room gets too warm then.  But he does turn it down at night so the electric blanket keeps me nice and warm for the most part.  If I start feeling cold, it means I need to turn it on again.....LOL

I was thinking about buying a couple pair of new fleece pajamas but that plan went out the window.  I'll make do with what I have and just wash clothes more often.  It's easier...and cheaper.

I get so tired of not feeling really good.  Why do you always take longer to heal than it seems that you are ill?  It isn't fair.  

I feel about 100 years old right now.  I miss seeing my great-grands and can't even think about a ride to anywhere yet.  I will be so glad when I can get to that point once again.  It's the feeling trapped that grates on my nerves.  If it weren't for Cee, I would definitely feel persona non grata.  But, I know everyone has their own lives to live and an old woman isn't fun, especially one that was as sick as I was.

Well, it's late and I really need to get to bed.  I'm trying very hard to be patient and take *baby steps* until I have some strength back.  It's amazing how that seems to drain out of you when you are ill.  I would have been happier to have had the flu, rather than a bleeding ulcer that damn near killed me.  Oh well.  C'est la vie!

Love you all.  Be good.  To all my family and friends, I want you to know I love you dearly.  ***Hugs***

I Am Really Getting Tired Of This.....

How I wish that I would wake up one morning and feel wonderful again.  Instead, it's like I take two steps forward, and one back.  I am getting enough sleep at night, I know, and that is supposed to help your body heal.  Mine seems to want to fight me.

So, I am just going to try my best and hope for the best, too.  That's all I have to say on the matter.

Love you all.  Be good.  Stay warm and dry.  ***Hugs***

And Another Step.....

Each day, I chart my progress by different *steps* that I am able to manage easily.  Today, I didn't take a nap at all but I didn't get up until 10am so I really don't know if it counts.  I took my medications, ate breakfast and a late lunch/early dinner and even had dessert.  That was some vanilla ice cream and, wow, did it taste good to me.

I think the Beast is waiting for me to feel quite a bit better before he thinks about going away for any time.  He wants to make sure I can make my own breakfast and also take care of the dog.  As for gathering the eggs....well, that may take some refiguring.  I know I can't make that trip outside to the coop and back without some serious problems for me.  I may ask Dennis or Diane (if she has the boot off her leg) to come over and gather those.  We give them a lot of the eggs at no charge so I would hope they wouldn't mind.

I really did feel quite a bit better today than yesterday.  No barfing at all (not even dry heaves) and I only started to get a bit dizzy from doing too much walking around the house.

Dennis feels much, much better today and it's easy to tell.  He came into my computer room when I was sitting at my desk and wanted some loving from me.  He can be so sweet at times.  I just wish Labs didn't have this prolonged chewing stage.  Worse, it takes them two years to outgrow it according to various articles I've read and even on the Dogs 101 program on Animal Planet.

His coat amazes me.  It feels like silk and, even after he spends a lot of time running around, he doesn't stink like Baron did.  We did bathe him once but that was only because he rolled in the mud.  They have great double coats without having long hair at all.   It's the top coat that is so silky.  I think he knows just how sick I was/am just because of how gently he treats me.  

I may feel good enough by this weekend to think about going to see my regular doctor.  I have a feeling from some of the things I read that I really don't have an active ulcer.  I think the section that blew out and was bleeding (and was cauterized) was *it*.  The pills I have for my stomach seems to be more for soothing and slightly neutralizing the acid.  But I will find out when I see my doctor.

My bff says her hubby's surgery on the cancer he had on his ear was a success according to his doctor.  She told them she got it all so he shouldn't have any more trouble from that.  She is still under the weather, however, and hasn't been in to the store (the florist shop her son owns) for over a week.  Bad time she said with Valentines Day next week.  She hopes to get into the shop to put together some nice arrangements on Monday and Tuesday.  Thanks for any prayers you may have said for her.  I appreciate it very much and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Time for me to think about hitting the sack.  Love you all.  Stay warm and dry.  Pray that our area isn't hit by tornadoes during this strange weather.  It was in 2011 (March) that we were hit last that really was a problem but I hate tornadoes worse than any other kind of weather.  ***Hugs***

Cee Comes To Visit.....

A friend suggested to me that the reason I may have really felt awful for the first couple days I was home was because I didn't get my flu shot until the day I was discharged.  I hadn't considered that because they don't usually cause me any discomfort but this time, I was really still recuperating from some awful problems.  Not too smart, Brat!

Cee came by even though the weather was just terrible.  It looked as awful as it felt.  I swear, the weatherman just can't seem to get the weather right lately.  It was supposed to be around 10 degrees warmer and partly cloudy.  Nope.  Really ugly grey sky and only hit the mid-50's.  One report said it would go over 70....LOLOL!

My weatherbug update says thunderstorms before midnight and just a 30 % chance after midnight.  We'll see.

Poor Dennis is under the weather and the Beast thinks its the heart worm medication he ground up and added to his food.   He had refused to take it in toto and that's when the Beast realized it was the same heart worm medication that Baron refused to take when the vet gave it to us before Baron died.  Now he thinks the reason he is acting so sick is because it DID make him sick.  We know he doesn't have heart worm because he was tested for that before we adopted him.  The poor thing.  He just breaks my heart to see him like that .  He's usually so *up* and happy.  Now he is just laying on his rug, looking depressed and unhappy.  I hope it gets out of his system in a day or two.  Otherwise, I will make the Beast take him to the vet....partly out of worry and partly because I want the vet to know that it may actually NOT be a good choice for him to be encouraging the use of it.

There is always the chance that it could also be something he chewed up and that scares me a bit.  I really and truly hate the chewing phase of puppyhood.   Puppies are not too bright about what they eat at times.

At least I don't feel like I have leprosy now that Cee has been to see me.  However, the first thing the Beast told her was that I haven't been eating like he feels I should.  He made me a pot pie for dinner and it tasted wonderful to me.  I damn near finished it all, too!  LOL

I had been dreaming about peel-and-eat shrimp when she got here.  It seemed so real that, when I woke up, I actually looked around for the shells!  So she told him when she left to go home that he should buy me some and make it for me.  She probably feels that, if I want it, it might encourage me eating.  *Grin*

I AM having fewer bits of nausea now.  The getting up and down and some walking around has helped.  I know I am getting stronger, at least.  Sorry this is all about me and my getting better but I'm not exactly flooded with company these days.  Hell, I had more people showing up at the hospital to visit.  And then I was well and truly sick.  I feel better so now I don't need any?  Oh well.

My poor bff is really ticked off at Amazon.  She's been trying for a week now to get them to deliver something to me and I haven't heard a word from them NOR received anything.  She did, bless her heart, send me some pee pads to make do until I could go out and buy my own.  I really was worried about that since I had used up what I had and didn't even have a package to show the Beast what I needed.  Besides, I really don't trust him to get the right thing even so.  He just doesn't read a package like he should.  He is still buying stuff with reduced salt in it that he ends up throwing out because it's just inedible....even to him.

I told my bff not to get upset over whatever it is that she was going to send me.  I told her to cancel it and not be frustrated.  Her hubby is having problems (physical) and so is she.  I am sure I can live without whatever it is.  But I don't know.  She can be more stubborn that I am....LOL

Well, that's all for now.  Love you all.  Be good.  Stay warm and dry.  Take care of your health.  ***Hugs***

BABY STEPS....

I am beginning to see progress in my endurance and am also learning about pain control for the ulcer.  I not only managed to stay up but also only had two barfing incidents.  I hate dry heaves but at least I am not barfing my medication or any meals.

The biggest problem is that after I have one, my head starts throbbing and I must relax for 10-15 minutes.  At least I don't have to use the commode.  My IBS-D has stopped now that the medication has *kicked in* and should be fine now.  I think the IBS-D was amplifying the pain and, now that it's over with (for now), it's easier to manage the ulcer.  

The Beast had to go to his dermatologist today for more treatment on his face for his skin cancer.  Although it was cloudy out for most of the day (he spent it indoors for the most part), it's the UV rays that cause it to turn bright red and be painful.  He ventured out long enough to pick up some deli sandwiches from the Publix deli.  Again with the ham but this time it was Boar's Head and it's not too salty and cut very thin.  Add swiss cheese on a nice crusty hard roll and it's yummy.  

I didn't eat more than two inches of it because I am still trying to gauge just how much I can eat without causing me pain.  I also ate some vanilla pudding.  Although it's not normally the pudding of choice for me, this was very tasty to me for some reason.  It also didn't cause any pain so that was a big plus.

I'll get more adventurous after I get to see my regular doctor to find out what he suggests as far as diet is concerned.  The diet the Beast was on years ago when he had a huge stomach ulcer was pretty restricted.  I have read where all that has changed like so much in medicine these days.  

Baby steps.  Just taking baby steps.  Cee said she's coming over to visit for a bit tomorrow and I'm looking forward to that.  I feel like everyone is acting like I have the plague or something.  It's not like an ulcer is passed along like the flu!  

Well, my body is telling me it's time to rest.  I didn't sleep well last night so I am very tired right now.  I'm heading off to bed as soon as I post this.  Love you all.  Sending an extra bit of love to family and friends.  Be good.  Be happy.  Take care of your health.  ***Hugs***








 

Things Will Be Spotty At Best.....

Forgive me for not being up to writing a blog every day.  I'm still trying to adjust to the idea of having an ulcer and, although I keep antacid handy and have medication for it, too, I'm not always sure which is going to have the best effect on my pain.

I haven't had much of an appetite except for chicken broth.  The Beast makes me hot cereal every morning and tries very hard to get me to eat other things.  He's bought different fruits, puddings, soups and even things for sandwiches.  Me?  I'm still spending a lot of time being nauseous and sipping on warm coke.  Not the sugar free kind because it doesn't have the right syrup in it.  I used to think gingerale was great but I found it bothers my stomach whereas the coke does the job.

I've been drinking a lot of cold milk and just cold water (no ice).  I've been trying to get a bit stronger and getting up more often so that I don't spend ages trying to barf (but not bringing up anything) just from the effort of getting up out of my recliner.  I have a commode nearby so that I can make it to relieve myself without the worry of having an *accident*  when the Beast spent so much time cleaning my rug and recliner both.  I knew I was weak but just how weak I was came as a bit of a surprise.  I just started reading the report the hospital gave me to give to my doctor that tells all the tests I was given and the results of them.  I think I should have that information, too, don't you think?

At least I will know for sure what all the tests were and the actual results.  I'll make notes on questions I need to ask my doctor for the things I don't understand without more information that he will have (values, etc.).

My poor son, Mustachio, has been great about calling me just about every other day to check on me and encourage me to get better.  I know I need to adopt a positive frame of mind and not get too wound up in pain and how to *fix* it.  I have pain pills but really hate to take them.  I know I should because otherwise it can actually hinder my getting better.  And I thought the diabetes was a pain in the butt!  Every time he calls, though, it seems I am in the midst of being nauseous, need to go to the bathroom or just need sleep.  But he remembers when he was in pain and I was calling him.  If he wasn't up to talking, I told him to just tell me.  My feelings wouldn't be hurt so, when he called me once and I just flat out told him, he laughed and said he REALLY understood.

It still scares me to think just how close to dying I was.  You always think it won't happen and, when you come as close as I did, that is enough to give you an ulcer.

Well, it's time for me to get some rest.  I've been sitting up long enough now and need a bit of sleep.  The Beast has been wanting to go visit either his cousin in NC or his brother and sister in Chicago.  I'm really not sure which but he doesn't want me to be alone here at night.  I guess I'll see if Cee would come and stay with me at night at least.  That way he won't worry and I will be free of his trying to push food down my throat when I know I would just barf it up.  She has said before that she would do that  (and I would do it for her).  Not specifically over this particular illness but all I can do is ask.

Love you all.  ***Hugs***

The Worst Eight Days In My Life....

The day the Beast had to call 911 was not a surprise to me.  It was all I could do to get myself into the bathroom that night (it was 3am) and then it was only because I could grab door frames and scoot myself around.  I had been, unknown to me then, hemorrhaging blood like crazy.  I thought it was just the IBS-D and that was bad enough.  I had put towels underneath me to little good but I didn't know that at the time.

I couldn't get up from the john, too weak, so I dropped to the floor and half crawled, half pulled myself into the computer room.  No matter what I tried, I couldn't manage to get myself into the recliner so I just pulled a blanket off the top of the clothes basket and decided I would wait until the Beast got up and have him help me.  Well, he did but he was shocked.  First of all, by the time he got up (around 7am), the room and I had both started to smell.  He wanted to help me into the shower while he cleaned up a bit but I told him I couldn't stand long enough for that.  So, he said he would help me sit in the tub but I told him he would never be able to lift me out because I knew I was too weak to help him.  That's when he called 911 because he knew without a doubt that I was in deep trouble.

The paramedics could see I wasn't able to help so they *cocooned* me in blankets and carried me out to the gurney and put me in the ambulance.  They could see I was severely dehydrated, my bp was very high and I was running a fever.  They were finally able to get a needle into a vein so they could start me on some fluids.  When we got to the emergency room, the paramedics brought me straight into a room where a doctor and nurse were waiting for me.  The paramedics had already radioed in all the important information.  Now it was try to find out what was wrong and what was causing it.

Finding a vein on me became an ongoing problem partly due to the fact that my veins are tiny and then being so dehydrated.  They did, eventually, while I was under anesthesia for an endoscopic and colonoscopic exam, put in a port at the base of my neck so blood could be drawn easily.  And trust me, I think they took blood about every two hours or so.  

I was also put into a cloth diaper and that is how they were sure I was bleeding out.  I found out I almost died....more than once.  It turns out I had lost almost 5 pints of blood.  The Beast got into an argument with the doctor about giving me blood.....like I was a member of his church and I objected due to religious beliefs.  Not so.  I was awake and aware and was totally pissed that they turned to him and not to me.  I had never given him that authority.  He has always tried to force me to do things his way and it never worked but I sometimes had to take doctors to task for that.  I told the doctors that it was HIS religious belief and not mine.  I really think that he might have welcomed my dying.  That was very scary.  I decided that, when I am up to it, I will give my sister, Cee, a power of attorney or whatever is necessary, to ensure I do not run into this problem in the future.

I found out the Beast was trying to move me to a different hospital that was set up to administer blood substitutes but discovered he couldn't do it unless I agreed since I was awake and aware.  Also, I discovered that one of the doctors said they had made arrangements with another hospital to get some substitute but urged me to consent because of how close to dying I was with the severe blood loss.  So I signed and said that, if I trusted more in their testing procedures, I wouldn't have objected at all.  He put me straight on the fact that they do now test for HIV, Hep B, Hep C and several other things that I hadn't even considered.  He said they had been doing it for almost 30 years now.  My information was just *slightly* out of date....LOL.

When the endoscopic exam was done (and the other end, too), they found the site that was bleeding and cauterized it but I still have an active ulcer.  And it's painful.  I'm drinking antacid like crazy just to be able to sit and relax for a while.  I'm surprised at just how weak being on total bedrest can leave you besides the fact that I was without food or drink for six days (that includes the day before I went into the hospital).  I finally was put on a clear liquid diet and really loved the grape popsicles I got with almost every meal.  I did get to (finally) have ice chips.

The worst part of this all was the pooping in place and having to be cleaned up by aides and nurses (mostly aides).  At least they were all very sweet and I hated to keep bothering them but I had to since I was already experiencing *sore* spots on my butt.

When I was finally able to get a bedside commode, I was so grateful.  Sure, it was tough getting in and out of bed much of the time, but it was a hell of a lot better for my frame of mind.  When I was finally getting an inkling that I might actually be going home, I was ecstatic.  All I wanted was to get home, take a nice shower or bath and sleep in a comfortable bed or even my recliner.  

So, after 8 days in the hospital, the Beast came and got me and brought me home.  He took my prescriptions (yes, four new ones) but I was taken off three others....at least for now.  Now, all I want to do is continue to get some decent sleep and not be in pain all the time.  I keep getting nauseous but have managed not to vomit up any food.  It seems its mostly just from pain.

I have to go lay down now.  I missed you all.  Love you much.  ***Hugs***